Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I finally found an alternative to shaving, but it can't be used on my face.
I've been exercising like a maniac lately, and since my regular undergarments weren't giving me the support and comfort I deserve, I bought some boxer-briefs for the first time in my life. After wearing them for a few weeks, I noticed a pleasant byproduct completely separate from their snug, supportive fit. The hair on my upper legs is slowly being rubbed away, leaving my inner thighs smooth and creamy.
I've always had a huge butt and big thighs, so big that I have to get my suit pants specially tailored, since my waist-to-butt ratio is so obscenly large. When I run, my chubby thighs rub together, creating a painful amount of friction, especially if it's cold outside. The boxer-briefs have cut down on the chaffage, and have rubbed me clean and smooth in the process. Ahhh...so this is what it feels like to be a woman. I can't stop stroking myself down there, and I didn't even need to buy pink razors.
On a subject aside from the friction between my legs, the Utah Jazz are off to the best start in the NBA this season. They've beaten four decent teams to remain undefeated. Let's all enjoy the moment now, because we all know that they're headed for some sort of disastrous fall back to reality.
My favorite Jazz player is Andrei Kirilenko, and if you have some time to kill, you should check out his homepage. http://www.kirilenko.ru/?lang=eng It's written by Andrei himself, usually in grammatically altered English. He even manages to misspell his own name, sometimes calling himself "Andrey." Some of his more entertaining quotes include:
I've been exercising like a maniac lately, and since my regular undergarments weren't giving me the support and comfort I deserve, I bought some boxer-briefs for the first time in my life. After wearing them for a few weeks, I noticed a pleasant byproduct completely separate from their snug, supportive fit. The hair on my upper legs is slowly being rubbed away, leaving my inner thighs smooth and creamy.
I've always had a huge butt and big thighs, so big that I have to get my suit pants specially tailored, since my waist-to-butt ratio is so obscenly large. When I run, my chubby thighs rub together, creating a painful amount of friction, especially if it's cold outside. The boxer-briefs have cut down on the chaffage, and have rubbed me clean and smooth in the process. Ahhh...so this is what it feels like to be a woman. I can't stop stroking myself down there, and I didn't even need to buy pink razors.
On a subject aside from the friction between my legs, the Utah Jazz are off to the best start in the NBA this season. They've beaten four decent teams to remain undefeated. Let's all enjoy the moment now, because we all know that they're headed for some sort of disastrous fall back to reality.
My favorite Jazz player is Andrei Kirilenko, and if you have some time to kill, you should check out his homepage. http://www.kirilenko.ru/?lang=eng It's written by Andrei himself, usually in grammatically altered English. He even manages to misspell his own name, sometimes calling himself "Andrey." Some of his more entertaining quotes include:
- "I adore dogs and horses. But my favorite animals are from the cat breed, but not cats."
- "I really like Sushi. Why? I just do."
- "I like to drive and drive fast. What Russian doesn't love to go fast?! One time in Salt Lake City I got up to 200 mph."
- "I love reading. Even sometimes serious literature."
- "(Computer games) are capable of absorbing me completely. I can play a lot and for a long time. It even happens that I forget about sleep and food. Sometimes I even set an alarm clock to remind me to stop."
Even though Andrei has a beautiful wife and a young son, I've always had suspicions that he's gay. Need proof? Look no further.
It doesn't look like the guy in purple is enjoying Andrei's "backdoor defense" too much. Let's hope, for his victim's sake, that Andrei keeps his thighs smooth and clean, just like me.
# posted by RBW @ 1:06 PM 
