Wednesday, August 09, 2006
At the risk of sounding like a nerd, I have to admit that I'm a big fan of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Darth Vader, all original characters from the 1977 movie Galaxy. The movie was so successful that five other Galaxy movies were later released, most recently in May 2005, when Galaxy: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith was released. My personal favorite in the series is 1983's Galaxy: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi.
The title of the movie series, Galaxy, is taken from the setting of the films. The movies take place, as we're reminded in each film's opening prologue, in "a galaxy far, far away." It's always a safe bet to name your movie after the movie's setting. George Lucas, the creator of the Galaxy series, must be a genius. I mean, he could have named the series something confusing and vague like Star Wars, which is actually pretty accurate, considering the fact that thousands of solar systems are involved in a war over stupid things like free trade and galactic government, but Lucas avoided a cool, descriptive title and went with the safe, no-frills title of Galaxy.
World Trade Center, a movie released today, follows Lucas’s ingenious idea of naming movies after their settings, no matter how vague and stupid. But the catchy title of the movie wasn’t easy to come by. According to some Hollywood insiders, the filmmakers struggled for months to think of a title that conveyed the full emotional weight of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks on September 11.
While in production, several other titles were considered for the film. The first title considered was Earth, because the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center took place on planet Earth. But some of the associate producers didn’t like that title and suggested it be changed to United States of America, since that’s the country where the twin towers were located and that’s the country that inexplicably invaded Iraq following the incident. Stone himself suggested the title New York City, with a subtitle of (and Washington DC and that Field in Pennsylvania), but this title was deemed too long and was scrapped. Finally, a seven-year-old boy wrote to the filmmakers and suggested the current title, World Trade Center. Pure genius! Clever, direct, bold…impossible to come up with a better name than that. See, it makes sense, because the World Trade Center in New York City, home of the former World Trade Towers, was the place destroyed by the attacks. What a great name for a film. Three simple words never looked so beautiful.
I hope this lame attempt at satire made sense. If it didn’t, here’s the point I was trying to make: World Trade Center is the dumbest name for a movie in cinematic history, even worse than the soon-to-be-released Snakes on a Plane. I could take fifteen seconds and think of a better title for the film. When I first saw the movie advertised in Newsweek a few weeks ago, I almost thought it was a joke, or some stupid made-for-TV special like you’d see on the Hallmark Channel. Surely, I thought, those screenwriters can come up with a better title than that. It almost sounds like a documentary. I sure hope the movie sucks. By the way, according to http://kids-in-mind.com, the film contains two F-words, eight scatological terms (sh*t), 4 anatomical terms (a*s, di*k, etc.), 19 mild obscenities (b*stard, b*tch, damn, hell), 3 religious profanities (God damnit), and 16 religious exclamations (My God!). Sounds like good old-fashioned family fun.
Using the same logic as the World Trade Center filmmakers, I’ve come up with alternate titles for classic movies. Here they are, new and improved:
The title of the movie series, Galaxy, is taken from the setting of the films. The movies take place, as we're reminded in each film's opening prologue, in "a galaxy far, far away." It's always a safe bet to name your movie after the movie's setting. George Lucas, the creator of the Galaxy series, must be a genius. I mean, he could have named the series something confusing and vague like Star Wars, which is actually pretty accurate, considering the fact that thousands of solar systems are involved in a war over stupid things like free trade and galactic government, but Lucas avoided a cool, descriptive title and went with the safe, no-frills title of Galaxy.
World Trade Center, a movie released today, follows Lucas’s ingenious idea of naming movies after their settings, no matter how vague and stupid. But the catchy title of the movie wasn’t easy to come by. According to some Hollywood insiders, the filmmakers struggled for months to think of a title that conveyed the full emotional weight of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks on September 11.
While in production, several other titles were considered for the film. The first title considered was Earth, because the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center took place on planet Earth. But some of the associate producers didn’t like that title and suggested it be changed to United States of America, since that’s the country where the twin towers were located and that’s the country that inexplicably invaded Iraq following the incident. Stone himself suggested the title New York City, with a subtitle of (and Washington DC and that Field in Pennsylvania), but this title was deemed too long and was scrapped. Finally, a seven-year-old boy wrote to the filmmakers and suggested the current title, World Trade Center. Pure genius! Clever, direct, bold…impossible to come up with a better name than that. See, it makes sense, because the World Trade Center in New York City, home of the former World Trade Towers, was the place destroyed by the attacks. What a great name for a film. Three simple words never looked so beautiful.
I hope this lame attempt at satire made sense. If it didn’t, here’s the point I was trying to make: World Trade Center is the dumbest name for a movie in cinematic history, even worse than the soon-to-be-released Snakes on a Plane. I could take fifteen seconds and think of a better title for the film. When I first saw the movie advertised in Newsweek a few weeks ago, I almost thought it was a joke, or some stupid made-for-TV special like you’d see on the Hallmark Channel. Surely, I thought, those screenwriters can come up with a better title than that. It almost sounds like a documentary. I sure hope the movie sucks. By the way, according to http://kids-in-mind.com, the film contains two F-words, eight scatological terms (sh*t), 4 anatomical terms (a*s, di*k, etc.), 19 mild obscenities (b*stard, b*tch, damn, hell), 3 religious profanities (God damnit), and 16 religious exclamations (My God!). Sounds like good old-fashioned family fun.
Using the same logic as the World Trade Center filmmakers, I’ve come up with alternate titles for classic movies. Here they are, new and improved:
- Gone With the Wind - The South
- King Kong - New York Monkey
- Citizen Kane - Old Man's Bed
- Ben-Hur - Arabian Racetrack
- Psycho - Creepy Motel
- Apocalypse Now - Vietnam Boat
- The Bridge on the River Kwai - The Bridge on the River Kwai
- Jaws - Ocean Shark
- Schindler's List - Concentration Camp
