Wasting my life one day at a time...

I guess it’s time to revive the infamous blog. Contrary to the rumors that have been swirling around, I’m not dead. My employment was put on hold while a new contract was hammered out, so I got paid to sleep past noon and watch daytime TV for the past seven work days until a new contract was signed. Along with the new contract, the company I work for got sold on October 1, so I have a new employer along with some new benefits and a small raise. I know, I’m as shocked as you that I got lucky for once. A paid vacation and a better job? Someone pinch me. So how does my employment affect my blog? You don’t expect me to waste my own precious time writing this stupid crap, do you? This is all simply a time-waster, and now that I’m back at work, I’d better start wasting time again.

A few updates, since I’ve been gone:

• At home, my mom took down the "new school year" decorations (wooden apples, gay little chalkboards with "Skool Dayz" written on them) and put up the Halloween stuff. Sorry, this isn't the cool, gory stuff you're probably picturing. Think more along the lines of cute little ceramic ghosts, smiling skeletons, witch dolls made out of stuffed nylons riding little wooden broom sticks, and little pots with "Witches' Brew" written on the side full of candy.
• For several months, I've had a schoolboy crush on a photographer I've worked with at the newspaper a few times. The other night, I had a perfect chance to make my move, but since I hadn't seen her in a while and was busy covering a volleyball game, I missed my opportunity. She's way too talented to stick with that paper for long, so I'm afraid the door might have closed for good. Pray for my insipid soul.
• The LDS church's general conference came and went. Don't you hate all the morons who, after every conference, say how good it was? In the history of time, has any church meeting, anywhere on Earth, ever been good?
• I have a new female in my life putting a lot of pressure on me for romantic involvement. I know she won't read this, since she's barely literate, so I have no fear mentioning her here. Let's just say that I prefer women who don't use double-negatives and drop casual F-bombs when they speak.
• My nephew learned to crawl, so not only does my sister's house need to be childproofed, but ours does too, since we live across the street and the little guy is always over at our place.
• Utah State finally won a football game, thanks to former high school All-American Riley Nelson, a product of Logan High School. I covered a game last year where the kid dominated like I've never seen before and I predicted great things for him. He proved me right last Saturday, leading a thrilling come-from-behind win over Fresno State in his first collegiate start.
• My dad's company gave him a Nissan X-Terra for a rental car and I got to drive it. After years of mocking the outdoorsy losers who typically drive X-Terras, let me admit that I was wrong. It's a sweet ride, and if I could go back in time a few months, I'd consider buying one, but not one of the gay yellow ones.
• Snow Basin and Powder Mountain both raised their lift-ticket prices this year (Basin up to $60 bucks, and Powder up to $55). I'm considering forging an old college schedule so I can pose as a current student, thus saving money with the college discount. For someone who refuses to pay seven bucks to see a movie, paying $60 dollars for a few hours of fun borders on insane, but I know I'll ski at both places at least a few times this year. They own me.
• I get a $275 dollar wellness bonus with my new company to use on a gym membership or something similar. Since I use the gym at work for free, I have big plans for that money. Sadly, it can't be used for "recreational" activities like skiing and golfing.
• My mom gave me a little jack-o-lantern decoration and I brought it to work. I've become quite attached to that cute little thing.
• After almost two weeks of waking up in the afternoon, I forgot how painful the sound of an alarm clock is.
• My brother and sister-in-law celebrated their two month wedding anniversary a few days ago. I went up there for something and accidently interrupted their special two-month anniversary dinner. Call me an insensitive clod, but if I ever get married and my wife wants a dinner like that, I might be reaching for the divorce papers.
• Brady Jugler (my boyhood hero) recently got divorced. If I took him to Vermont or one of those other gay-friendly states, we could be legally married.