Thursday, September 21, 2006
A while ago, I posted a list of things I hate. I was worried about a backlash from my loyal readers since some of my comments were a little harsh, but only one person called me racist while another called me a “spiteful bastard.” I laughed at that comment and thanked the attributor since it was such an accurate description of me, except for the bastard part (I asked my mom). To further prove my spitefulness, here’s the second list of things that I hate, listed in no particular order:
Adults who use the word “exspecially.”
It’s cute when kids say it, but after the age of ten it starts to become annoying. Funny thing, as I typed the word on here, the spell check kept changing it to the correct, “especially.” If a piece of software knows the difference, then why don’t you retards? On a similar subject, the word “espresso” is now acceptable as “expresso” in print and speech. Since so many stupid people pronounced it wrong for so long, dictionaries finally gave in and added it. I’ve never even tasted the stuff and I can pronounce it right. You’d think all the evil coffee drinkers out there could do the same. See what happens when ignorance is allowed to reign? It changes the world and creates more confusion for everyone. If this trend continues, we’ll all be dumber in five years, exspecially those who say “exspecially.”
People who take pride in seeing movies.
Do you know people like this, who go see a movie the night it opens and then brag because they’ve seen it and you haven’t? It’s not like they found a cure for herpes or successfully mated a cat with a dog. They saw a freaking movie. It’s not an accomplishment. Going to movies in the first place almost makes them look more stupid than they do bragging about seeing movies, since there hasn’t been a film worth paying eight bucks to see since Spiderman 2 debuted over two years ago, and even then, I caught it on DVD a few months later. This has nothing to do with my cheapness, by the way. There’s simply nothing worth seeing these days, and those who enrich their loser lives by seeing movies and then bragging about them need to die horrible deaths, worthy of R-rated horror films.
Rims on cars.
What the hell are rims? As far as I knew, they were always called hubs and were covered by hubcaps, but somehow, at some indeterminable time, minorities started calling them rims and it caught on. Now, I realize that there’s a technical difference between rims and hubcaps, and that hubcaps are all but extinct these days, but still, why rims? I hate arguing semantics, but using accepted English, it’s just not accurate. I looked it up. A rim, by definition, is “the outer edge, border, brink, or margin of something, especially a circular object.” But have you ever seen a car rim in a tire store? It’s a big, round chunk of metal. It’s not simply an outer edge, margin, or border. It’s not a rim. Contrast this with a hub, whose definition is “the central part of a wheel,” which is exactly what that big, round rim is. So, to be accurate, a rim is actually a hub, but everyone out there is too stupid to call it that. When I was shopping for a new car a while ago, the salesmen would always point out the alloy rims on certain vehicles and I’d shrug. Who cares? Do they think I’m black? By the way, the car I ended up buying does have alloy rims, causing heads to turn when I cruise the ‘vard on Saturday nights. I’s so pimpin’.
The return of chest hair.
In my latest Esquire magazine (which I get for free using my frequent flier miles) a poll showed that a shocking majority of women prefer men with visible chest hair, a turnaround from last year’s preferred metrosexual look. I’m not an especially hairy guy, but I do have some chest hair and wouldn’t think of wearing anything that shows it off. Nothing screams white trash like visible body hair, and if the ladies don’t want to touch me because of my hair-hiding, that’s their loss.
Bush bashers.
I’ve made it known several times on here that I’m not a supporter of President Bush or his do-nothing war, but I hate people who blame Bush himself for the nation’s problems. They call for his impeachment, for his resignation, all the while forgetting that he’s nothing but a face for a nationwide network of screwed-up Republicans. If he resigns, gets impeached, or gets assassinated, this network won’t just crumble. If people understood anything about politics, they’d know that he doesn’t write his own speeches, doesn’t coin buzzwords like the much-maligned “Islamofascist,” and doesn’t personally make decisions regarding the war in Iraq. He has teams of advisors on every issue you could possibly think of. The only individual decision he’s made in six years of office is to veto the stem cell bill last July, an idiotic move based on an invisible morality, and I’m sure even that decision came from some sort of committee. Give the guy a break. He’s an idiot, but everything’s not his fault. And you morons put him where he is. Thanks.
People who blame President Bush for their sons’ deaths in Iraq.
The last time I checked, there wasn’t a selective service draft instituted, so your idiot sons (and occasional daughters) chose to join the military and thus chose to go die at the hands of hostile Muslims. So don’t blame anyone but yourselves and your bad parenting. If you would have nurtured your children correctly, pushing them toward college, then they’d be fornicating in a dorm room right now, not being blown apart by a car bomb. There are only two reasons why people join the military:
1. Because they’re too poor or stupid to attend college.
2. Because it's a false escape from poverty.
That’s it. So don’t shed a tear for those grieving parents. They screwed up somewhere, or were simply poor, and now the consequences have finally hit them.
The proliferation of tooth whiteners.
This trend has been around for years and shows no sign of dying. Who are these people who want chemically-bleached glow-in-the-dark teeth? Blazing white teeth aren’t natural or healthy, so unless you want people to think you have dentures, screw the tooth whiteners. Take care of your teeth like you’re supposed to and you shouldn’t need them anyway.
Stupid kids who want to work in the medical field.
Every week, the Standard-Examiner highlights two high school athletes, a boy and a girl, for their Standard Stars profile. At the end of the profile, the newspaper asks the kids what their future plans are. Ninety percent of the time, the stupid kids say they want to be an orthopedic surgeon, or a physical therapist, or a cardiologist, or whatever else. Their future plans always involve some kind of prospective medical career and that annoys me like nothing else. Stupid kids. What if all these kids got their wish, and they all got to be orthopedic surgeons? Who would pick up their garbage, fry their hamburgers, and fix their cars? For the record, I never wanted to be a doctor, even when I was a stupid high schooler. I don’t trust myself to pay my credit card bill every month, let alone to have someone’s life depending on my shaky hands. Stupid kids. Don’t they realize that there are plenty of rewarding careers out there that don’t involve touching a sick person? I blame shows like ER and Grey’s Anatomy for glamorizing the profession. Doctors are losers, don’t they get it? No one but an obsessive loser goes to school for eight years and then works without getting paid for three more just so he can pay a quarter million dollars annually for malpractice insurance and have to read medical journals every month and worry about killing someone on his night shift. Ninety percent of them want that lifestyle? Stupid kids. The other ten percent, by the way, want to be crime scene investigators. Stupid kids. Blame TV again. When I was in high school I didn’t want to be a thing. The best thing about college, for me, was listening to all the loser freshman tell me they were going to be doctors, but three weeks later, they’d drop out of the class. Stupid kids.
Adults who use the word “exspecially.”
It’s cute when kids say it, but after the age of ten it starts to become annoying. Funny thing, as I typed the word on here, the spell check kept changing it to the correct, “especially.” If a piece of software knows the difference, then why don’t you retards? On a similar subject, the word “espresso” is now acceptable as “expresso” in print and speech. Since so many stupid people pronounced it wrong for so long, dictionaries finally gave in and added it. I’ve never even tasted the stuff and I can pronounce it right. You’d think all the evil coffee drinkers out there could do the same. See what happens when ignorance is allowed to reign? It changes the world and creates more confusion for everyone. If this trend continues, we’ll all be dumber in five years, exspecially those who say “exspecially.”
People who take pride in seeing movies.
Do you know people like this, who go see a movie the night it opens and then brag because they’ve seen it and you haven’t? It’s not like they found a cure for herpes or successfully mated a cat with a dog. They saw a freaking movie. It’s not an accomplishment. Going to movies in the first place almost makes them look more stupid than they do bragging about seeing movies, since there hasn’t been a film worth paying eight bucks to see since Spiderman 2 debuted over two years ago, and even then, I caught it on DVD a few months later. This has nothing to do with my cheapness, by the way. There’s simply nothing worth seeing these days, and those who enrich their loser lives by seeing movies and then bragging about them need to die horrible deaths, worthy of R-rated horror films.
Rims on cars.
What the hell are rims? As far as I knew, they were always called hubs and were covered by hubcaps, but somehow, at some indeterminable time, minorities started calling them rims and it caught on. Now, I realize that there’s a technical difference between rims and hubcaps, and that hubcaps are all but extinct these days, but still, why rims? I hate arguing semantics, but using accepted English, it’s just not accurate. I looked it up. A rim, by definition, is “the outer edge, border, brink, or margin of something, especially a circular object.” But have you ever seen a car rim in a tire store? It’s a big, round chunk of metal. It’s not simply an outer edge, margin, or border. It’s not a rim. Contrast this with a hub, whose definition is “the central part of a wheel,” which is exactly what that big, round rim is. So, to be accurate, a rim is actually a hub, but everyone out there is too stupid to call it that. When I was shopping for a new car a while ago, the salesmen would always point out the alloy rims on certain vehicles and I’d shrug. Who cares? Do they think I’m black? By the way, the car I ended up buying does have alloy rims, causing heads to turn when I cruise the ‘vard on Saturday nights. I’s so pimpin’.
The return of chest hair.
In my latest Esquire magazine (which I get for free using my frequent flier miles) a poll showed that a shocking majority of women prefer men with visible chest hair, a turnaround from last year’s preferred metrosexual look. I’m not an especially hairy guy, but I do have some chest hair and wouldn’t think of wearing anything that shows it off. Nothing screams white trash like visible body hair, and if the ladies don’t want to touch me because of my hair-hiding, that’s their loss.
Bush bashers.
I’ve made it known several times on here that I’m not a supporter of President Bush or his do-nothing war, but I hate people who blame Bush himself for the nation’s problems. They call for his impeachment, for his resignation, all the while forgetting that he’s nothing but a face for a nationwide network of screwed-up Republicans. If he resigns, gets impeached, or gets assassinated, this network won’t just crumble. If people understood anything about politics, they’d know that he doesn’t write his own speeches, doesn’t coin buzzwords like the much-maligned “Islamofascist,” and doesn’t personally make decisions regarding the war in Iraq. He has teams of advisors on every issue you could possibly think of. The only individual decision he’s made in six years of office is to veto the stem cell bill last July, an idiotic move based on an invisible morality, and I’m sure even that decision came from some sort of committee. Give the guy a break. He’s an idiot, but everything’s not his fault. And you morons put him where he is. Thanks.
People who blame President Bush for their sons’ deaths in Iraq.
The last time I checked, there wasn’t a selective service draft instituted, so your idiot sons (and occasional daughters) chose to join the military and thus chose to go die at the hands of hostile Muslims. So don’t blame anyone but yourselves and your bad parenting. If you would have nurtured your children correctly, pushing them toward college, then they’d be fornicating in a dorm room right now, not being blown apart by a car bomb. There are only two reasons why people join the military:
1. Because they’re too poor or stupid to attend college.
2. Because it's a false escape from poverty.
That’s it. So don’t shed a tear for those grieving parents. They screwed up somewhere, or were simply poor, and now the consequences have finally hit them.
The proliferation of tooth whiteners.
This trend has been around for years and shows no sign of dying. Who are these people who want chemically-bleached glow-in-the-dark teeth? Blazing white teeth aren’t natural or healthy, so unless you want people to think you have dentures, screw the tooth whiteners. Take care of your teeth like you’re supposed to and you shouldn’t need them anyway.
Stupid kids who want to work in the medical field.
Every week, the Standard-Examiner highlights two high school athletes, a boy and a girl, for their Standard Stars profile. At the end of the profile, the newspaper asks the kids what their future plans are. Ninety percent of the time, the stupid kids say they want to be an orthopedic surgeon, or a physical therapist, or a cardiologist, or whatever else. Their future plans always involve some kind of prospective medical career and that annoys me like nothing else. Stupid kids. What if all these kids got their wish, and they all got to be orthopedic surgeons? Who would pick up their garbage, fry their hamburgers, and fix their cars? For the record, I never wanted to be a doctor, even when I was a stupid high schooler. I don’t trust myself to pay my credit card bill every month, let alone to have someone’s life depending on my shaky hands. Stupid kids. Don’t they realize that there are plenty of rewarding careers out there that don’t involve touching a sick person? I blame shows like ER and Grey’s Anatomy for glamorizing the profession. Doctors are losers, don’t they get it? No one but an obsessive loser goes to school for eight years and then works without getting paid for three more just so he can pay a quarter million dollars annually for malpractice insurance and have to read medical journals every month and worry about killing someone on his night shift. Ninety percent of them want that lifestyle? Stupid kids. The other ten percent, by the way, want to be crime scene investigators. Stupid kids. Blame TV again. When I was in high school I didn’t want to be a thing. The best thing about college, for me, was listening to all the loser freshman tell me they were going to be doctors, but three weeks later, they’d drop out of the class. Stupid kids.
# posted by RBW @ 4:39 PM 
