Thursday, July 06, 2006
Those of you who live in Utah most likely remember the unusual weather the state
experienced on the 4th of July. If you don't remember, then you're an effing retard since it just happened two days ago, but something terrible happened that day, something I'm still recovering from.
I was at home, having just returned from a picnic-style dinner at my uncle's house. I was already in a bad mood because a certain unnamed aunt of mine tried to turn the casual dinner into a religious devotional of sorts, prompting me to eat and leave as soon as I could. The wind was still swirling outside, and there were broken branches all over the place along with a few drops of rain still falling. Bored, I turned on the six o'clock TV news. I think it was Channel 2, but the shock of what I witnessed has erased the smaller details from my mind and nearly reverted me back to a tabula rasa state. Such pain!
The news station was doing a story on the wild weather. Trite, but forgivable. A middle-aged male reporter (again, the lesser details, like names, were annihilated by the resulting shock) was shown strolling through a park, with wind whipping past his clothes and leafy branches tumbling past him.
"As you can see," he said, "the weather is really doing a number on this summer FOILAGE."
Yes, you read that right, and it's not a typo. The moron said "foilage." Thanks to a few classes I took in college, I have experience writing script for broadcast journalism and know what situations script is used in. This guy was out live, without a teleprompter or anything to read. I have to assume it's his fault, not some intern's who's only with the station for the summer. I sure hope he got castrated for that mistake, or at least fired. Simply unacceptable.
Just another example of the pseudo-intellectual mind at work. I'm sure he's been dying to use a word like foliage in a broadcast for years. It reminds me of this kid who grew up across the street from me. He'd go to school, learn a few vocabulary words, and then come home and try to impress me by casually throwing them around. Once he called me a "riparian loser." For those of you who aren't geniuses like me, riparian relates, coincidentally, to foliage on the banks of streams or rivers. But since I liked the kid and was amused by the insult, I let it slide. I loved the sound of it: riparian loser. Feel free to use it, if you ever need to impress someone. And don't worry. No one else knows what the word means. Now quit reading this and get back to work, you riparian losers.
experienced on the 4th of July. If you don't remember, then you're an effing retard since it just happened two days ago, but something terrible happened that day, something I'm still recovering from.
I was at home, having just returned from a picnic-style dinner at my uncle's house. I was already in a bad mood because a certain unnamed aunt of mine tried to turn the casual dinner into a religious devotional of sorts, prompting me to eat and leave as soon as I could. The wind was still swirling outside, and there were broken branches all over the place along with a few drops of rain still falling. Bored, I turned on the six o'clock TV news. I think it was Channel 2, but the shock of what I witnessed has erased the smaller details from my mind and nearly reverted me back to a tabula rasa state. Such pain!
The news station was doing a story on the wild weather. Trite, but forgivable. A middle-aged male reporter (again, the lesser details, like names, were annihilated by the resulting shock) was shown strolling through a park, with wind whipping past his clothes and leafy branches tumbling past him.
"As you can see," he said, "the weather is really doing a number on this summer FOILAGE."
Yes, you read that right, and it's not a typo. The moron said "foilage." Thanks to a few classes I took in college, I have experience writing script for broadcast journalism and know what situations script is used in. This guy was out live, without a teleprompter or anything to read. I have to assume it's his fault, not some intern's who's only with the station for the summer. I sure hope he got castrated for that mistake, or at least fired. Simply unacceptable.
Just another example of the pseudo-intellectual mind at work. I'm sure he's been dying to use a word like foliage in a broadcast for years. It reminds me of this kid who grew up across the street from me. He'd go to school, learn a few vocabulary words, and then come home and try to impress me by casually throwing them around. Once he called me a "riparian loser." For those of you who aren't geniuses like me, riparian relates, coincidentally, to foliage on the banks of streams or rivers. But since I liked the kid and was amused by the insult, I let it slide. I loved the sound of it: riparian loser. Feel free to use it, if you ever need to impress someone. And don't worry. No one else knows what the word means. Now quit reading this and get back to work, you riparian losers.
# posted by RBW @ 9:15 AM 
