Friday, July 07, 2006
It came and went, and I'm four pounds fatter from it.
What's the it I'm talking about? Not Christmas. Not Thanksgiving. Not the vicious cycle of summer barbecues that clogs arteries and packs colons with pounds of charred meat. I'm talking about LDS girls' camp, an event I've never attended in person but nonetheless remains the top contributor of the excess fat lining my curvy buttocks.
Perhaps some explanation is needed.
Every summer, my mom goes to girls' camp, usually serving in some sort of leadership role. And while I don't know much about what goes on up there, I'm certain of one thing: those girls eat a lot. Of course, the leaders realize this and prepare for those enourmous appetites with numerous trips to Costco, Sam's Club, or the other leading warehouse store, where too much of everything is purchased, just in case. So, among other camp activities, the girls (and leaders) eat. Then they come home. And while they do eat an impressive amount, there's always leftover food. Non-perishable foods are usually saved for an upcoming church activity, but perishable foods are divided among the leaders for consumption in the home. That's where I come in.
This year, my mom brought home the following:
What's the it I'm talking about? Not Christmas. Not Thanksgiving. Not the vicious cycle of summer barbecues that clogs arteries and packs colons with pounds of charred meat. I'm talking about LDS girls' camp, an event I've never attended in person but nonetheless remains the top contributor of the excess fat lining my curvy buttocks.
Perhaps some explanation is needed.
Every summer, my mom goes to girls' camp, usually serving in some sort of leadership role. And while I don't know much about what goes on up there, I'm certain of one thing: those girls eat a lot. Of course, the leaders realize this and prepare for those enourmous appetites with numerous trips to Costco, Sam's Club, or the other leading warehouse store, where too much of everything is purchased, just in case. So, among other camp activities, the girls (and leaders) eat. Then they come home. And while they do eat an impressive amount, there's always leftover food. Non-perishable foods are usually saved for an upcoming church activity, but perishable foods are divided among the leaders for consumption in the home. That's where I come in.
This year, my mom brought home the following:
- A large bag of half-melted and refrozen Creamies, with flavors including banana, chocolate, mint-chocolate, and orange.
- Several lime Juicies (apparently the least popular flavor) mixed in with the Creamies.
- A huge barrel (nearly the width of a car tire) of neon orange CheezBalls, half-empty.
- A large Zip-Lock bag full of Hot Tamales cinnamon candies, which I questioned the sanitation of.
- 20 bags of fun-size Lays potato chips, regular and wavy.
- Flavored Tootsie Rolls, with only the nasty flavors (lime, vanilla, lemon) left.
Usually it's a bigger haul, not to mention the leftover stash of candy my mom takes for herself but neglects to eat. The food has been in my house for over a week now. The Creamies are gone. Same with the Juicies. The CheezBalls are still taking up space in our pantry, even though Kurtis's friends made a nice dent in the supply. The chips are in there too. I personally finished off the Tootsie Rolls and the other candy in about seven hours. No use in wasting good tithing money.
# posted by RBW @ 8:38 AM 
